Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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