Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
