I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
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