Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
