why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
