I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
