I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize