Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
