Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
