i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
