i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
