my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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