Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
