Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
