the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
