so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
