Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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