Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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