i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
