I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
