Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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