My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
