Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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