too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
