He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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