so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
