Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
