Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
