i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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