therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
