I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
