She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
