How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
