I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
