Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
