I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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