I'm jealous of your bromance
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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