We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
