just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize