Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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