If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
