Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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