My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
