Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
