her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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