One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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