She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I will pee on everything he values.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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