I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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