She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
