its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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