Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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