so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we're making bets on your personal life
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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