Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize