Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Panties = found
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