Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's blow job season.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
