love makes seman taste better
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
