Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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