Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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