Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
