Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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